violently domesticated

An abiding awareness that life is a series of profound absurdities that are beyond my control and, more importantly, not my fault. A comprehensive choice chosen to amend failing attachments seems to gone asunder and the propriety of truth is not spoken of, just swept under the rug. Now tucked away, here we lay tension a brew-in. In the morning I’ll shrug it off as you do your cares and affection. It seems that simple…because now you lay soundlessly sleep my angers and frustrations seem to dissipate. Sometimes when you wake they remain at bay… Other times a beautiful morning is ruined on us.

I know these carefully placed words, I know what the transparency means. I know because I’ve said them before.

When frustration sets in everyone has a way of dealing with it. When pure anger sets in everyone has a wrong way of dealing with it. My fist hurts, his cars totaled, she’s still crying, he o.d.’d, she cut herself, he took it out on her; who then took it out on her little brother and mother. No one understands why hatred occurs, but why do we do it to each other and to ourselves. Wanted me to feel? I did, look at where it got me. Wanted to escape, look at us now. Need some time? What are we waiting for. Went through her phone? Did you find what you were looking for? No ones sees it coming and no one knows where it’s going. I don’t even know what the point of writing this is, but look at me go. I need a moment to myself my head pounds with anger, remorse, regret, laughter and pride. There is no coming out on top, just a delicate story that no one wants to tell all of. I have a favorite side to a story and so do all of us. Tell it.

A nice change from past exposures or just wishful thinking displayed on paper. Each day promising to be “the day.” I finally had the chance to spruce up my life, alas apon a closer look I’ve realized that I’ve only removed one of many layers that I wish to improve. Complacency is trite and true emotions tend to be moot in outward situations such as these. A crocodile only smiles right before the kill and I’ve rarely seen you smile in weeks; so I’m sure you’re hungry. This impetuous feeling shows significance, but where does it lay, besides next to you at night.